How come I can't stay sober?

Last Updated: 01.07.2025 15:31

How come I can't stay sober?

Because the daily struggles of life sober seems do-able. Or at least not life threatening so it’s entirely possible. But it requires presence. It requires a structure because even if you are a free spirit who couldn’t care about taxes or insurance or the latest trending chemical peel, you have to be present enough to know when to eat, sleep, bath, etc… you have to be present enough to judge the car coming down the road. Do you have enough tie to walk across? Well it seems trivial but at the end of each day these are the things that our body feels when we get into bed.

Yes the life an addict can be very difficult too but any robot or zombie can do the task.

the robot and zombi don’t even bother to think about the task again. We are just the average human and we will think about it and talk about it and try improve it and it is all so fucking draining.

Should I have left it alone and kept quiet? I came out as gay to my adult kids last week. Age 61 married 15 years, divorced for 20. I feel so guilty for ruining their lives by living a lie.

it’s tiring being present.

Being present is what we addicts escape from. 🥂